And?
Hello people. Got my results, finally, I guess you could call them decent..they say anything thats a 1st class is cool for literature. I'm not jumping for joy or anything, though. I don't know, but I guess I was getting used to doing better than I expected. Now that that didn't happen I feel inadequate-ish. And I'm not going to Del after all, not for another year at least. No surprises there, but its one thing knowing its gonna happen and another actually having to wonder what you're going to do for the whole of next year.
You see I don't want to be doing a random M.A. from M.U. just to bide my time or to get 16 years of education to my credit so I can go abroad if I want to. I don't want to go abroad, to begin with; and not U.S. for sure. I don't want a sixteenth pointless year of education; the last fifteen years have wiped me out and I promise you at least twelve of them were useless. Truth is, I can study, I've been doing it for long enough, we all know I can manage. Its getting out there and finding something to do and being taken seriously that I need to figure out.
I'm worthless right now, and jobless, and wondering where to go. I can write and I can make music and I can paint shoes. Who'll hire me for any of that? You don't know, I suppose, and neither do I. If only there was something like a god who holds the strings and could light up the way for each one of us. But I guess we find out for ourselves. Or sometimes never do. Either way we aren't much. But we are all we have..
